Riley's Birth

Today I became a Nan, I wasn't sure how I would feel about that because at first I had reasoned I was not ready to take on that kind of responsibility yet, not because I don't love children in fact I think I loved my daughters so much that it literally hurt and I was convinced if evil or bad ever befell them I would not survive and would surely die of a broken heart or kill myself as life would not be worth living without them. I know it all sounds a bit dramatic but I was only two months into being 20 when I had my twins and for all of my hardship in an abusive foster home I was still quite naive about lots of things. When Bianca was in labour all I could think of was her pain and how I could not bear the thought of one of my children being in so much pain, her twin Brooke was sitting with David and I and her fiancée Simon, she was upset as Bianca had to be taken for a caesarean and Brooke was meant to be in there with her. Matt eventually popped out with a bundle in his arms a smile lit up across his face and he looked positively glowing at that moment. Riley looked like he had gone 3 rounds with Mohammed Ali his face was red and swollen and not that pretty to me, Brooke however promptly burst into tears and was sobbing at "how beautiful he was" David was clicking away with the camera and taking pictures of everyone. I kind of felt removed from it all, tired but like I was out of my body at the same time.We were taken to see Bianca eventually and she looked exhausted and rightly so it had been a difficult birth and she was the typical anxious first time mum, something she swore during her pregnancy she would never be. We stayed with her for awhile and then left her to rest.It's funny how quickly you fall in love because I think the very next visit I was doting on him and quite fascinated by everything he did, I could spend hours just looking at him.